Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Ho ho ho ho..... It's that time of year again.

Santa's on his way.

He'll be here soon. Every "good" boy and girl should be in bed fast a sleep. Once you're in your REM cycle you won't hear him roar up in his Dodge Truck!

I created this last year actually. I should have done one this year. But, I was busy working on my sisters Christmas present.

Anyway. It's another photoshop creation. I found the image of this old Dodge Pickup. It's some kind of Special Edition pickup. Racing stripes, bucket seats etc. I added the bed full of packages, Santa and a cartoon-ish rein deer driving.

Until my  next post.

Merry Christmas, Happy Christmas, Happy New Year! Hope it's a good one!!! 

Monday, December 23, 2013

Tis the season....

And as usual, I can't really think of anything to get for anyone. Not only that but, as usual, I can't really afford to spend anything. It's wonderful wanting to give, but being poor.

So I wanted to do or get something for my sister. We aren't super close, but after this year I'm hoping that will change. Anywho.... not to bore anyone with details. I started this image a  month or so ago. It was going to be a surprise for her. And I decided why not make it a Christmas Present?

She got a car back in highschool. A little Volkswagen Bug. It's a custom job. A 1972 standard beetle which was supposedly hit by a tree branch or something so the roof was crushed. Instead of trashing it the guy who had it cut off the top and made it a Roadster. Then he built a racing engine for it and raced it. She fell in love with this thing. It's a fairly nice little car, no top doesn't help when it's raining. The racing engine was removed and replaced with something more reliable. She drove this quite a bit till she got married. After they got a house, it's been in storage. I can't think if it's actually seen daylight since they moved into this house.

Anyway, the car kind of a maroon metallic color euro bumper on the front centerline wheels all the way around not much in the way of trim. So, in the style I've become accustomed to I did kind of a night looking image of it sitting under a neon sign for Eddy's Motel. Ed is her husbands name, thought that was kind of neat so I included it in the image.

So the final image created in Photoshop turned out pretty good. The only problem is the wheels are 4 lug, not the older style 5 bolt. But, other than that it looks pretty much just like it.

I was going to print it and frame it for her. But, I decided  to let her do that so she gets a frame she likes. I sent it to her last night and I believe she's going to love it. She works in a graphics capacity so she should be able to print it with no problem.

Monday, December 2, 2013

Every action causes a reaction!

I have to admit that making fun of celebrities is a form of relaxation for me. And, I'll have to admit there are a lot of celebrities or so called celebrities that bring lots of jabs on themselves.

First and foremost..... Paris Hilton. I know she's not really a celebrity. Lawd knows she ain't good looking. But, I have suspected all along (and after watching many episodes of "Maury Povich" "Jerry Springer" and "TMZ") You can be ugly as a mud fence as long as you're connected to money and spread easier than mayo and achieve super stardom! This poor unfortunate girl also has issues with being under educated. I also suspect that Daddies money probably bought her high school diploma. If it is called high school for the mega rich.

I don't mind admitting that I've seen "House of Wax" and was simply delighted when she wound up having her head air conditioned! So, she was my first target.

This wasn't the most thought out image I'd created. Lost a little in translation. And once I finished it, I thought (Oh My God.... what if this starts a new trend for her?) I however don't know if it did just because I don't follow her every move. She bores me. But, after her stint on that ridiculous MtV reality show I felt the straw looking hair was a good touch. BTW, this is a before and after. I tried to give her a natural cross eyed look. Then added some "Bling" to her teeth. not to mention the totally natural highlights to her hair.  

This one I created I believe even before Lady Gaga had the issues of being called a hermaphrodite. I found this image of Paris pushing something in her usual slutty way. Decided to give her face the "baby jane" make over. And the legs and "package" were courtesy of myself. I can't remember how many shots I took of myself in my jockey's to get this one. But, I know it was alot. I honestly have to say I'll do anything for an image. And Damn! I have good looking legs!!!

Next on the list is Mary Kate and Ashley Olson, Olsen.... how ever you spell it. Not sure why I dislike them. Maybe it's cause they've been called and considered to be so "Cute" or "Adorable" when I think they look like those plastic trolls you get at the dollar store. And the fact they have movies, TV shows, clothing, make up etc. Just kind of makes me sick to my stomach. Who knows.... maybe they're sweet girls, All the pictures I've ever seen of them don't give me that feeling how ever.

Not sure which one this is. I found this image of her online. Looking as they normally do. decided to giver her a really hairy chest. That's all i really did to this one. Just the hairy chest. Had she had an arm raised or something i may have given her under arm dreadlocks.

Next on my hit list....

Justin Bieber. Now, being as I'm gay. You'd think I'd find him cute.... maybe even hot. But, he's another that makes my stomach turn. And with him he's basically come from nothing as I've read. And managed to make him self into a major celeb. Kudos for that, but for christ's sake. Show some humility. Try to show the world you're not a spoiled rotten little bitch! I think I've gotten the most mileage out of him.

Obviously, they couldn't handle him being on TV. Of course the big image is a screen capture from Scream 3, Courtney Cox and David Arquette. And little justin on the tube.

This one I did right after seeing the final Harry Potter movie. And since we all know how that turned out. Potter killed the evil he fought. I decided to make that evil Justin. Didn't do so great on Harry's hair. But the rest turned out pretty good. Infact, I believe this ended up on some Justin Bieber fan page. Kind of thinking they didn't get it. But, what ever.

Little baby Justin again. This time wearing a shirt that originally said "Doing real stuff sucks" So, after seeing quite a few pics of him and his dad together getting matching tattoos and earrings. I thought. wow... wonder what's really going on there??? So, I was a little less subtle with this one as I changed the shirts words.

Justin seems to want to start a fashion trend with this slogan. And I suppose if I was running around speeding through neighborhoods in my Lamborghaini and doing the other stuff I've read. I'd consider wearing one. NOT!
I just had to wonder, what do the guys in his band.... does he have a band???? or is it just a show with him singing to recordings??? Does he have body guards, does he have truck drivers, bus drivers that cart his ass around? And if he does, have they seen these shirts and wondered if what they do isn't real stuff? Or do they get paid enough not to care? I'm going with the second one. But still it seems to be an insult to the parents of his meal ticket who break their backs putting food on the table and money in the pockets of their kids to see his concerts. And he runs around blatantly displaying doing real stuff sucks. He's such and arrogant little fucktard!

Next on my hit list... The Veggie Tales. How can someone hate a cartoon or cartoon characters? Well, it's fairly easy. I've known people that hated Looney Toons, Disney and Hannah Barbara. But, those were simple fun cartoons. Veggie Tales have a taint to them. A deep "Christian Taint" now don't get me wrong. I don't discriminate against people for being one way or the other. God knows I don't have room to talk. But, when most of the people running around picketing funerals and sending out their anti homosexual propaganda are also announcing they're christian and do what the good book tells them. I have to think there is a problem with that. And that in turn makes me find something they value to pick on. Sooooo I conjured up this little master piece. Tried to make it an insult without being too graphic.

I think it came out pretty good too.
I mean, how can they be anti gay when one of the characters of their cartoon is so blatantly phallic. and has been used historically by men, and women for sexual satisfaction???

This next one was just for fun. I kept thinking to myself after watching "Toy Story" and "Broke Back Mountain" how oddly similar Jack Twist and Woody look. So, using photoshop and finding an image of Woody online. I found another image of Jake attaching pieces of him to Woody's head.

My most recent image I created after having seen commercials and episodes of "Maury" and "Trisha" where Michael Lohan went on to talk about his life. Like anyone cares??? But, what got me was his arrogance, his lack of manners while on these shows. Trying to act like he's pure as the driven snow??? what ever! Get a clue dude... So, I figured since he's probably been playing Johnny Appleseed for years spreading his blood line from one coast to the other. Why not play that up.
This was the creation. And I'd pay money to see this movie too! It would be like watching Paris Hilton receive a frontal lobotomy with a steam pipe!

I actually kind of envision my favorite targets all hanging out together comparing their epic fails trying to see who's worse and betting on it. Then daring each other to do worse. Which of course they will cause they have no shame.

Sunday, December 1, 2013

Political humor.....


So, being an illustrator is difficult and a tough racket to get into. But, trying to break into it and being political can sometimes lead to suicide of your career.

I don't consider myself a political person. Most of the time I don't really concern myself with politics just because it's all the same. A bunch of people lying to get a vote then conveniently forget everything they said they'd do.

So, just not to long ago. After the current commander in chief got elected I decided to do a couple of images of him. The first, not sure what was going through my mind... or why I did it this way. But it's not nearly as successful as the second one.

I suppose this one came about because I'd heard rumors that he'd smoked pot and drank pretty heavily at some point.

This is one that I felt was way more successful than the other. Basically shows how I feel about the Prez. And basically what a lot of other people see him as also.

I forgot the election where Obama got in I also made fun of the one running against him. Basically, I didn't like either of them. But, I felt the need to make fun of them.